People often ask about my peace through trials and pain.
How can I be thankful to God when the struggles come again and again?
While I mentioned it before and will again repeat,
God never said that this life would be easy.
When we are going through the downturns and looking for God’s hand,
It is sometime difficult to see all that He has planned.
But when we look back at all life’s twists and turns,
It is through that retrospect that sometimes we can learn.
How God is there and continues to show up in various ways;
Sometimes it is a small spark and other times a roaring blaze.
It was during a time of sadness due to another lost pregnancy,
I truly wanted to see God and got down on my knees.
It was so hard to see Him in the moment, with my eyes so full of tears.
Had He been there at all throughout my many painful years?
If I could look back at life and see how He engaged,
I might be able to look around and see Him now today.
So, there I sat with pen in hand and paper on my table.
I went back throughout my life, as far back as I was able.
I saw the ways He called to me through big things and the small,
And those were just the ones I could see, I knew I couldn’t see them all.
With tear-filled eyes I thanked Him for giving me eyes to see
Through every high and every low He was right there with me.
It would be only a few months later that I would receive the doctor’s call.
The one about my cancer where the surgery cleared it all.
While I would have loved to hold another baby in my hands.
I trust God that it was not a part of His Holy Plans.
Thoughts:
Paul and I struggled to get pregnant as well as experienced the loss of two pregnancies. While we are overwhelmingly grateful for our three children here on Earth, those experiences of infertility and loss are still there. I was at such a low point when we learned of the last loss. However, it was because of those trials that I now have a much deeper and greater relationship with God. I spent time going back to see the many trials with a different set of lenses. I truly sought out how God had provided, how God had moved, the blessings that came from the struggle. It was through this experience that I started to see how God moves in the every day. So, even when difficulty happens, I can (mostly) stay present with Him.
Invitation:
Have you had the opportunity to sit with God rewatching your life from His perspective?
If so, what are some of the things you learned from that experience? Did you see God move? Did you see more blessings that you previously realized?
If you haven’t, maybe consider giving it a try. There may be some situations that are truly too difficult to focus on. Yet, there are likely others that can provide you a new perspective on God’s continued love, support, and provision.
Reflection Song:
Francesca Battistelli, “God is Good”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43VAJc6ZTRU
